So I've been asked recently why I do it. When I'm sat there with serious DOMS (Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness), struggling to make it up and down the stairs or lift my arms - I'm asked why I put myself through it. When checking the nutritional information of everything I eat and drink - I'm asked why I bother, aren't I just being a little pedantic? When I'm drinking a protein shake with Creatine & BCAA's and all but gagging; when I'm stepping out for a run in the pouring rain and cold; when my hands are callused and hard - people are always asking me why I do it.
So why do I do it?
1. I do it because of them.
They sit there with their junk food and their television and their carbonated drinks and their internet. They go out on their binges and they sleep all day. They bathe in their own feebleness and fragility. They mock me for my weight gloves, my shakes, my vests and my supplements. But they just want to bring me down to their own level of uninspired weakness. They tell me it's not worth it. They try and pull me off my chosen path to a better me and when they fail they label me with vanity and arrogance. They live unaware that is infact me mocking them as I progress further and further away from them as I grow stronger, bigger, faster and more powerful than they could even comprehend my body would be capable of.
2. I do it because of who I used to be.
I was once one of them. I was a slave to what I saw as my limits. I succumbed to the binges and the junk at the sake of my health, confidence and pride. When I finally saw the light, I went into working out blindly without knowledge and as a result I ended up at an unhealthy weight feeling sick all the time. My confidence all but disappeared entirely and I settled for what I was; weak. But one day something hit me, and that same thing sticks with me even now. It drives me. It is my fuel. It is renewable and is most certainly sustainable. And that, readers, is the fear of weakness. It is a raging fire burning inside of me which says I will never be weak again. It is a testament to the man I am now and the man I will be in the years to come. It serves as a reminder to everyone that I am no longer to be fucked with and I will no longer take your shit, and a warning to all those people who I would once have questioned fucking with that they will most certainly be fucked with now. It says that I will not back down and I will never surrender. It says that I will fight til the bitter end defending what I love and it says I WILL WIN.
Every last rep I push out whilst my body is screaming at me to stop is a big "fuck you" to everyone who pounded on me, who held me back, who left me behind, who failed me and who stood in my way. Including myself.
3. I do it for so much more.
I do it for the progression. I do it to see my charts go through the roof. For my before and after picture comparisons to be baffling. For the compliments that never grow old. For the shock and awe on the faces of people I've not seen for a while. For the sex appeal. For the 'this is what you could've had'. For the strength. For the power. For the confidence. For how safe I feel in my skin. For how alive I feel when finishing a session. For the making of new friends. For the achievement. For the realization of dreams; lifting something and looking like I could have only dreamt just weeks ago. For me. For you. For her. And for so much more.
And some of you might take all of this as arrogance - believe me, you're not alone. Arrogant is a word I hear all too often. But I don't see it as arrogance. It isn't arrogance to enjoy the fruit of your labours or to reap what you've sewn. I have worked fucking hard to be where I am now. I have poured blood, sweat and tears into the fire and out of it I have forged a new and better me. I have had my ups and I have most certainly had my downs. I have failed a thousand times and will fail a thousand more. But I get back up and I keep pushing because I know that I will get there in the end. I will see people fail, give up and fall by the wayside but I will keep on going where they could not. I will set a goal and hammer and hammer and hammer away until I smash it and then I'll set another.
I walk like a king. Perhaps not as one, but in the knowledge that I one day will be.
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